1dering at stars

Snoink- Thanks for your suggestions! "And we are not graced by her crown

Ayra-Oh! Why didn't I think of 'the'?" Thank you! Gothgirl- Thanks for commenting. And as Ayra said, i do use 'and' as a style. I sometimes use it too much ...

Great job. Its simple but gets what you want to say across in a way that everyone can relate to it. I know that this isn't very helpful but I ...

Thanks for commenting! I know what you mean about the rhymes and sounding like song lyrics, but its a sonnet, which has a specific format, so I can't really change ...

Ayra- thanks for the comment! You're right about the line being wordy, I noticed that too but I couldn't find a better way to get across what i wanted to ...

Sorry, one more thing I noticed... So far the title doesn't seem to fit. If its the title of the whole story, then thats OK, but if its just the ...

Thank you for your kind/helpful comments everyone.

I like the rhythm of this and I can tell its really beautiful. My favorite was the last line. The only problem is, I'm not sure if I really understand ...

Thanks for your comment! Good suggestions.

Only one suggestion: Change the title. Only one description: Beautiful. Great images. Great wording. Great feel. Great job.

Everyone- Thanks for the comments, sorry if it was a little confusing. Maybe I should have made it more clear, I'll try some changes, thanks for all your help! Ana- ...

Thanks for the comments everyone! Perhaps I will add more...

Thanks! This helps a lot!

Thanks for the comments everyone. I wasn't really planning to do anything with this one but its still nice to know what people think. You all have some really good ...

Ha, ha! I love it! Simple, witty, funny and brilliant! Exxccceeleennt job! :wink: